Hosted by: Cynthia Swanson & Andrew Swanson

I’m Not a Romantic

I like the idea of romance, but I don’t have a clue how to “be” romantic–which makes it incredibly difficult for the husband, who is a romantic to his core. We were discussing it this past weekend, how clear it is that I am not the romantic in the relationship, and that while his favorites are romantic comedies, I always lean toward action thrillers or sci fi.  He liked to read poetry; I would rather poke my own eye out than do that.

I feel bad about it sometimes.  I’ve read self-help books and read romance novels, I’ve watched the movies, but the essence of being romantic still eludes me.  It just doesn’t occur to me naturally, and when I try, it feels stilted and clumsy (and usually doesn’t work).  But maybe that’s because I’m trying to match an idyll of romantic that just doesn’t fit who I am.

I am not a dainty person.  My dreams have always been filled with chaos and danger and mayhem.  I spent years in a cocoon of self-doubt and lack of self worth, until I broke free and emerged into the strong, self-sufficient, and mostly confident woman people see today.

You know what I think is romantic?

  • Holding hands (granted, mine are often either iceberg cold or clammy these days, but that’s beside the point)
  • Picking something up at the store, not because your loved one asked, but just because you know they’ll like it
  • Hugs
  • Talking and laughing with the husband.

I think all the little things that we do every day for the people we love are romantic gestures that get overlooked.  Granted, I don’t feel that doing laundry is especially romantic, but washing his favorite shirts because I know he’s going to want to wear them just might be.

So, what do you think?  Am I alone in thinking this?  Or am I missing the boat completely on being romantic?

This inquiring mind would like to know…

Categories: Random Thoughts

3 replies

  1. Glad I’m not alone. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. I find the small thoughtful gestures more romantic than the grand sweeping unreal things too. Fish and chips on the beach can be more romantic than an expensive candlelit dinner with the right person.


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