Hosted by: Cynthia Swanson & Andrew Swanson

Fears and Awkwardness

One of my fears of starting a blog was not having anything to say–even if I was only saying it to myself, which was my original intent with this. I don’t lead a glamorous life.  I get up, go to work, come home to spend a couple of hours with the husband, and then climb the stairs to my office aerie to attempt to put words to the page.  Social events are akin to torture to me, as I never know what to say beyond the common courtesies.  It’s really awkward, and I do my best to opt out of them as much as I can.

None of this is a complaint.  I like my life.  I like myself–although getting to this point has been a decades long battle.

Getting back to fears, I’ve always had one about my writing–that I won’t be able to think of a story worthy of my time writing.  Add that to my constant left-brain editor that wants perfection, and you can see where this leads.  My biggest problem with finishing my book is not trusting that the words I draft are good enough for the moment, and letting the editor have free reign.  How awkward is that?

I realize what I need to do is shut the editor down and let the creative juices overflow.  It’s all in there.  I can feel it, and I’m chomping at the bit to get to scene I keep glimpsing in my head, if only I can get out of my own way.  So this is why I started this blog.

I have only one rule with myself–I type each entry from start to finish before the editor is allowed one read-through and edit.  Then I post and walk away.  So far, I’ve managed to let myself put words to the screen without editing every day.

Here’s me walking away…

Categories: Random Thoughts

3 replies

  1. Cynthia,

    I understand your fear and the issues you are having, because I struggle with them also. But…and we knew there was going to be one, right?…I’ve read some of your story — you have nothing to fear. So…get out of your own way and get busy girl!

  2. Thank you for your comments. I have been known to do exactly what you describe. It is getting in my way. So now I’m trying to learn a new habit.

  3. That is an excellent rule. It’s a hard one, I’ve been known to spend an hour or more crafting a sentence or a paragraph before feeling free to move on. But you’re right. The “editor” has her place, and it’s after the idea has been roughed onto the page.

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